Happiness has transformed into an overused and under-understood word nowadays. We are usually aware of our unhappiness, but we forget to be aware and enjoy the moments of happiness. A problem with today’s world is the overload. We have “too much” in comparison with the older generations. Too much TV, too many malls, too much information…too much everything, yet not enough happiness. Or is it so?
Today, I will talk about 5 major impediments in being aware of your happiness, as a state of being, not “something” to obtain. As with many things in life, happiness is a choice that can be lived consciously.
But first, let’s see what’s stopping us:
- Searching intensly for happiness
We hunt happiness and idealize it, getting stuck in that pursuit. This can be a powerful blockage as it makes us remain in that logic of “searching”, without realizing to actually live the happy moments. Moreover, we project our happiness on something external and “in the future”, sometimes forgetting what happiness feels like and what makes us happy.
- We rely on our doubting mind
This doubting mind is telling us “I’ll be happy when…”, “I’ll be happy if…”, “I’ll be happy after…”, clinging to an idea: to be loved, to be succesful in the future etc. disconnecting us from our present moments and our current feelings.
The biggest blockage “is” our mind, as we risk being absent from our own life, always waiting for something else.
- Excess in positive thinking
No one likes to feel sad, frustrated, annoyed, anxious etc. That’s why a frequent habit is using positivity to mask unhappiness. What we forget is that happiness is a very good teacher. It helps us to be authentic and to be happy by understanding and embracing the difficult times as well.
- The constant busyness
Know as “chronic busyness”, this feeling can become a blockage in living our life. The agenda is so full that it seems one doesn’t have time to breathe. The accentuated rhythm that we choose in our search for “that which will make us happy” (another myth), usually ends up detaching us from our own emotions and daily life.
- Autosabotaging belifes
“I already lived my best years”, “I will be happy once I get married/when I get that job/when I’ll be rich and famous”, “I can’t be happy alone”, “I will be happy when I meet my soul mate” and so on, and so forth. Again, we project our happiness on something external and that isn’t part of our present moment and ourselves.
What is the solution?
Changing even a single thought, behaviour or belief, every one of us can change his/her life in a grand manner. Why? Because when we become aware of these patterns and we take measures in the right direction – even small measures – we start to understand ourselves better. After all, we want what’s best for ourselves. We feel strong and confident as we realise it’s our decision at the end of the day.
Therefore, let’s close with an awareness exercises in spotting the blockages. Fill in the blanks and conciously analyze how you feel/what you observe in that moment:
- I’m the happiest when…
- I’m most pleased when…
- I feel like I found happiness when…
- I feel most alive when…
- I like/enjoy myself when…
So, do you let yourselves live the happiness present in your lives?